


Lost & Found

by cream_pudding



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birthday, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:31:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11416062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cream_pudding/pseuds/cream_pudding
Summary: It was going to be a fun day at the Zoo to celebrate birthdays. A fortuitous meeting brings with it some eye-opening revelations about both past and future relationships.





	Lost & Found

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been sitting on my harddrive for several months now. I thought I might add to it, but who am I kidding. This is all there is and I won't elaborate on anything in it. I conceived this story while I was out at the Zoo one _very_ stinking hot summers day.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and as always feedback is my writers life-blood, wink, wink. Nudge, nudge ;)
> 
> Not quite sure what sort of comments to leave? Here is a handy-dandy guide! (taken from [NimblesNotebook](http://nimblesnotebook.tumblr.com) on Tumblr)  
> 1\. At what point did you feel like “Ah, now the story has really begun!”  
> 2\. What were the points where you found yourself skimming?  
> 3\. Which setting in the story was clearest to you as you were reading it? Which do you remember the best?  
> 4\. Which character would you most like to meet and get to know?  
> 5\. What was the most suspenseful moment in the story?  
> 6\. If you had to pick one character to get rid of, who would you axe?  
> 7\. Was there a situation in the story that reminded you of something in your own life?  
> 8\. Where did you stop reading?  
> 9\. What was the last book/fanfic you read, before this? And what did you think of it?  
> 10\. Finish this sentence: “I kept reading because…”

Cloud had finally gotten to the front of the queue after what felt like too long. It was hot, it was humid, and completely gross to be outside. But today was his birthday and this chance would only come around again in another possible 100 years, so he had to sacrifice his comfort.

“Next please!,” came the monotonous tone of the staff member manning the admission booth. It was early in the morning but the man already seemed exhausted.

“One adult, please. And it’s my birthday, so…”

“Ah, well Happy Birthday! But it’s only a one dollar entry if someone else is with you to pay full price.”

“Really?” Cloud groaned on the inside. Of course there’d be a catch. The deal had been too good to be true. One dollar entry to the zoo on your birthday, on account of it being the zoo’s 100th anniversary. 

“Yeah, really. You’ll have to pay full admission otherwise.”

Cloud sighed and his shoulders drooped. He went on this expedition because it was one of the cheapest things to do. He wasn’t made of money but thought he owed it to himself to get out and explore the city he had just moved to.

“Hey, what’s the hold up! Just pay the guy. We wanna go see the penguins!” came the admonishment from behind. 

“Don’t be so fucking rude,” came a quieter voice.

Cloud felt someone step up behind him. 

“Is there a problem? You need some cash?” spoke the voice again.

Cloud glanced back, jumping a little at the close proximity of the man behind.

“No, I just… don’t have someone to pay full price.”

“Oh it’s your birthday too?”

“Yeah.”

“No worries. I’ll pay.”

“What? No! You…”

But wallet was already out and Cloud was gently pushed aside.

Cloud gasped at the other man, for the first time taking in the breezy navy blue button down shirt sitting atop of tan complexion and ebony hair up in a bun. 

A pearly white smile and sparkling blue eyes fell on Cloud and for some reason caused a lump to form in the back of his throat. 

“ID? Need to prove it's your actual birthday.”

“Oh!” Cloud hoisted his small daypack to the side, making access to his backpocket easier. He fished out his wallet and pulled out his licence, handing it to the stranger, who glanced at it before passing it to the staff member. 

As Cloud's ID was checked the man smiled at him. It was slightly unnerving. “What?” he grumbled. 

“Your name's Cloud.”

Cloud felt justified in his sudden onset of grumpiness. This guy was gonna be another one of _those_ people. “What of it?”

“I've always liked that name,” was the smiling and seemingly sincere response. 

It took Cloud by surprise and he lost his edge. But before Cloud could add anything, both his, and the stranger's attention was pulled back to the admission window. His ID checked out, payment was processed, Cloud paid his $1 and had his licence returned and received the admission ticket. 

A soft warmth landed on the small of Cloud's back and pushed him forward and out towards the zoo beyond. They walked a short while before pulling over to the side to a shady spot.

“Thanks for doing that for me… er...”

“Name’s Zack.” A hand was stretched out. 

Cloud took it and they shook. “Thank you, Zack.”

“No worries, Cloud. Glad to be able to help. And hey, Happy Birthday, buddy!” the man grinned. 

Cloud was taken aback by the over-familiarity as well as the complete warmth his name was spoken with. He wanted to distance himself. “You shouldn’t have -”

“Really, no worries. I had to pay full price anyway to get in, so I might as well do a good deed while I’m here.”

“But still. You didn't have to.”

“Of course I didn't have to, but I wanted to. It’s no skin off my back and it was the right thing to do,” he beamed with a head full of teeth and overwhelming joy painted on his face. 

Something niggled at Cloud's brain. 

“Hey, what are we gonna see first?” came the shout, drawing both sets of eyes towards the direction of the admissions booth.

A blonde guy, shorter than Cloud, bounded towards them, backpack bouncing and map fluttering in hand. A tall redhead was in close pursuit, sporting a broad brimmed hat and also shouldering a backpack.

“Whatever you wanna see, Rox. It's your special day,” the redhead behind him enthused. 

Cloud recognized the voice. It had been the same that had barked at him to get a move on earlier. It was slightly irritating.

The two men approached. 

“Well in that case let's see the birds first. Flamingos are awesome! They screech just as badly as you do, Ax,” the blonde laughed. 

“I don't screech. I croon,” came the defense. 

“Same difference.”

They grinned at each other before taking turns to look between Cloud and Zack.

“So this is Cloud. It's his birthday today,” Zack gestured with some flair like Cloud was a prize on a pedestal at some game show.

“Pfft! What kinda name’s Cloud!” came the very expected response out of the redhead. 

“Cloud's no worse a name than Axel. I like it much better, actually,” Zack defended cheerfully. 

“Oh do ya now, hmm?” the redhead smiled in a way which Cloud did not like. 

“You're missing the important part, Ax. It’s his birthday today. Which makes him my special birthday buddy! Hey Cloud! I'm Roxas,” the blonde beamed at him.

“Hey Roxas.”

They shook hands. 

“I thought I was your birthday buddy. I’m your free pass after all, so your indentured to me.”

“Na-ah. You should be honored to be basking in my glory on this auspicious day,” Roxas retorted.

“So anyway, that's Roxas and the other one’s Axel and they are gonna be bickering like this the whole day. You wanna save me and walk around with us? I'd really appreciate it. Plus no one should be alone on their birthday after all,” Zack spoke with a lot of allure.

But it took Cloud by surprise, and Cloud wasn't a huge fan of surprises. “N-no. That's all right. I don't want to impose and anyway I don't mind being by myself,” he deflected. 

“What?” Roxas’ attention was drawn away from wrestling the map back out of Axel's grip. “You wouldn't be a bother. The more the merrier and all that.”

“Thanks for being so welcoming, but it's really all right. Thanks for getting me in, Zack. I really appreciate it, but I don't want to be a bother. Have a nice day!” And with that Cloud took off.

* * *

 

Cloud spent the morning exploring the extensive zoo grounds. It was situated on a hill, overlooking the bay and the greater metropolitan area of Radiant Gardens stretched out and flanked either side of the picturesque view. The sea breeze occasionally wafted up, bringing slight relief from the humidity and stale sweltering heat. 

Cloud had purposely avoided the aviary section for a good hour, not wanting to run into Zack and his small troop. Something unnerved and significantly bothered him, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe Cloud couldn't fathom how anyone could be so nice and welcoming to a complete stranger. Maybe he didn't care an iota for the company Zack kept… though Roxas had seemed all right. 

Either way, the zoo was huge and Cloud didn't see it very likely that he should run into them again today. Especially as the crowds kept growing as the sun crawled to the middle of the sky. 

Eventually it became too hot, and Cloud's stomach started to protest. He had packed himself a sandwich and some snacks but he was craving something warm and very salty so he made his way to one of many eatery sections, prepared to be robbed blind by crazy zoo prices. 

The crowd he found there was massive. He wove past families, between strollers and prams, looking for a place to sit with his tray laden with a burgers, fries and a sugary carbonated drinks to keep his electrolytes up on this sauna of a day. The din in the large cafeteria style hall was great. The sound of hundreds of people chatting became almost a deafening roar. But he still heard it. 

_“Cloud! Hey Cloud!”_

His eyes searched and found a waving figure at one end of the hall. It was Zack and he was motioning for Cloud to come over. 

Cloud swallowed his uncertainty. He hadn't seen a single free seat yet so he reluctantly made his way across the room, still keeping his eyes peeled for a way to escape. But he wasn't blessed, as he hadn't found a single vacant spot by the time he had reached the trio. 

Zack pulled out the single empty chair next to himself on the long table they say at and shared with about five other people. 

“Care to join us?” he grinned with so much energy. Cloud truly didn't understand. How could someone be _this_ excited to see him? _Him_! A complete stranger. 

Cloud took the seat graciously though. He was rather hungry. 

“Thanks,” he intoned quietly, but it had still been sufficient enough to be heard despite all the noise. Cloud shot an appreciative smile at Zack and then at the two other men sitting across the table from himself. Roxas and Axel were sporting goofy, self-satisfied grins. It made Cloud uncomfortable, so he lowered his head and began unwrapping his almost 0% nutritious meal.

“You been around to a lot of places in the zoo?” Zack queried, mouth full of burger.

“I’ve done most of the south end.”

“Oh cool! So you haven’t seen most of the really cool animals just yet! Us neither.” Cloud’s attention was drawn away from his meal and across the table to Roxas who slammed his by now tatty-looking map onto the table. “They keep them up top, near the main gate and the souvenir shops. We’re gonna work our way up to the top of the hill,” Roxas declared, mapping out their planned route with his finger.

Cloud watched carefully so he would know what to avoid and when. Roxas gave running commentary on all the animals as his finger traced past the various enclosures. But then he stopped, and glanced up at Cloud, with some wild look in his eyes. “What’s your favorite animal, Cloud?”

The sudden change of subject made Cloud uneasy. Roxas’ cheerful face and sparkling eyes unnerved him. Cloud could feel his defensive shell hardening around himself and clamping up. He didn’t know what he was about to say but it was gonna be harsh. “How can you be so excited? It’s just a zoo. The same animals can be found in every other zoo around the continent,” Cloud grumbled.

Roxas’ expression fell, and Cloud felt minutely bad about it, but the guy deserved to be taken down a notch on the enthusiasm scale for prying around so much.

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Axel snapped, his brows knitted and wearing ferocity in his features and tone of voice. His hand seemed to protectively reach out and around Roxas’ shoulder where it sat and stroked. “It’s his birthday. He’s allowed to get excited. Just ‘cause you can’t get excited about anything doesn’t mean you have the right to go shitting all over other people's passions, you dumb fuck.”

“Axel, it’s okay,” Roxas muttered, head still down, looking rather dejected.

“No, it ain’t. Apologize or get lost,” Axel spat, looking even angrier than before.

“Axel,” Zack bit, and both men glared at each other.

By this point Cloud was well and truly uncomfortable. He had just meant to shut Roxas up, not start a war. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Rox just really likes animals. We live really far from the zoo so it’s not like we can get here any old day,” Zack explained, gently.

“Sorry,” Cloud muttered once more, looking at his rapidly cooling fries. “Sometimes I can be a bit of a dick.”

“That’s all right. Axel here’s a dick ninety percent of the time,” Zack soothed, rubbing his hand down Cloud’s back, which made Cloud stiffen up and go rigid.

Roxas began giggling. Axel made sounds of indignation.

Cloud flashed Zack a wide-eyed look. Heat prickled his skin when he saw the softness in Zack’s face which was directed towards him. He popped a handful of fries in his mouth to distract himself from it.

“You’re just jealous that I’m not giving you any dick, Zack.”

Zack withdrew his hand from Cloud and threw a fry in Axel’s general direction. To Zack and Cloud’s surprise Axel actually caught it with his mouth. Roxas grinned and cheered, pinching Axel’s cheek, which made Axel seem even more pleased with himself.

“Looks like all that training’s paying off, huh,” Roxas laughed.

“Training?” Zack inquired.

“Yeah, Rox’s been throwing food at me for years. I’ve finally made a commitment to learning some coordination to catch it. Looks like it’s finally coming together, ey Rox?”

“Sure is.”

They grinned at each other and fist bumped.

Cloud felt relieved at the mood having lifted, and he reluctantly spoke up as the chatter within their small group died and everyone's attention went back to their meals. “Snow leopards.”

“Huh?”

“My favorite animal.”

“Oh! Cool! Whadda ya like best about them?” Roxas inquired.

Cloud bit down his defensive mechanism of keeping people out by being cool and aloof. “I grew up around the foothills of Mt. Nibel. They remind me of home.”

“Woah! Did you ever see any in the wild? They live around there, right?” Roxas pulled himself closer towards the table and Cloud.

“Yeah they do. And I _might_ have seen one, but I’m not too sure. Once when I was out with my dad we were hunting for rabbits and saw some tracks. Dad turned us around and made us head for home. I might have caught sight of something through the trees, but -,” Cloud shrugged.

Roxas was very impressed however. “That is so cool! I bet you _did_ actually see one.”

“Hard to know though. They are like ghosts. You’ll never see or hear them. Well… except for mating season. Sometimes when the wind blew down the valley it carried the females roar with it.”

“Wow! Mt. Nible’s really far away from here. Did you only move down from there now?”

“No, my parents moved when I was twelve. They wanted me to get a better education in a city.”

“Where’d you move to?” Zack shifted his weight towards Cloud.

“Midgar.” 

Zack’s expression stayed the same, but Cloud’s attention was drawn across the table towards Roxas and Axel, who were both beginning to wear dopey grins again. Cloud began feeling uncomfortable once more. “What’s going on?”

“Oh nothing,” Axel deflected, stretching his arms up and out, crossing them behind his head, while a smug knowing smirk settled on his lips.

Cloud felt the urge to leave rising within himself. His muscles clenched and tightened, getting ready to stand up.

But Zack’s voice chiming up next to him drew Cloud’s attention away from his body's desire. “I watched a documentary on them once. They are very solitary animals,” Zack mused, tapping a fry against his lips before eating it. “They’d be lucky to run into their own species up there in the mountains.”

“Well that’s why they’re in zoo’s now. Conservation. As more tourists started coming up to the mountains the leopards have been pushed out of their territory. There’s so much development going on that the whole place has changed,” Cloud said, feeling rather morose.

“Plus it’s always getting hotter, even up in the mountains,” Axel added thoughtfully. “Habitat loss.”

Cloud hummed his agreement. The change of subject had helped Cloud to settle down once again. Everyone resumed their eating and drinking, but the peace didn’t hold for long.

“Well I for one wouldn’t survive in seclusion, or the cold for that matter. Give me warm climate any day and a bunch of people to nag and annoy,” Zack chuckled.

“So today must be your perfect day, huh?” Axel teased.

“Well, the humidity could go and die somewhere, but otherwise, yeah. Spot on.”

“What’s your favorite animal?” Cloud ventured. He didn’t see why he had to be the only one to share.

“I like lions. Big, strong. Great teamwork and family oriented. What’s not to love about big cats?”

“Their smell,” Axel lampooned.

“Oh please, enlighten us of what rosey-smelling animal you love the most then,” Zack jibed.

“Chimps.”

Zack laughed. “They reek even worse than you do.”

“Axel only smells when he’s been left out in the sun too long.”

“Yeah, I’m like milk. I curdle in the heat,” Axel lamented while Roxas fanned him with the now folded up zoo map.

“What do you like about chimps?” Cloud put across with mild interest.

“They’ve got character. And remind me of what it was like growing up in an orphanage.”

“You grew up in an orphanage?”

“Well, I did most of my growing up outside. Ran away a couple of times. Did eventually get adopted out. Stuck into school,” the man shrugged casually.

“It’s where all three of us met,” Roxas asserted, still fanning Axel, though he occasionally also whacked him with the bit of paper.

“That must have been rough.” It was all Cloud could say to sound like he wasn’t completely indifferent to that news.

“Oh it was. But Rox set me straight, didn’t you,” came the cheerful statement and a sly wink and nudge.

Roxas whacked Axel once more. “Sure did. We got up to more _acceptable_ mischief. There’s only so many fires you can light before people start linking it to you.”

“Hey it was my M.O. All great criminals need a signature.”

“That’s how they get caught, buddy. It was great that Rox got to you. Made you grow a brain.”

Axel scoffed and folded his arms across his chest.

Cloud eyed the group of guys he was with warily. “Whatever you guys are into I want no part of it,” he said, pushing back from the table, slightly.

“Oh relax, Cloud. Axel’s an upstanding citizen of society now.” Zack patted Cloud’s shoulder and his hand slid down Cloud’s upper arm before he pulled away. The whole gesture made Cloud’s heart race uncomfortably, but his attention was drawn across the table once more.

“Well he tries anyway,” Roxas reached up, giving the redhead appreciative pats, causing Axel to nod.

“It’s true. I try. But anyway, I enjoy watching the chimps. They can beat each other up and know where their place in their little community is. Kids and chimps are very much alike,” he chuckled.

“Primates creep me out. Too human… without actually being ones.”

“I don’t creep you out though, right Rox?”

“Of course you don’t. No matter how hard you try,” Roxas grinned at Axel, rubbing his head a little harder.

It made Cloud chuckle.

“What?” Axel eyed him sharply.

“Nothing. You guys are cute together,” he shrugged with one shoulder.

Roxas’ hand dropped and he straightened right up looking flustered. Axel’s eyes narrowed further.

Cloud found the shift strange, but wasn’t left to think on it further as Zack came to the conversational rescue. 

“So what about you, Rox? What’s your fave animal this year? It seems to change year by year,” Zack threw out as an aside to Cloud.

“Giraffes,” Roxas stated with certainty. “Can’t wait to see them up in the savannah enclosure with all the Zebra and Gazelle.”

“What’s put them on your number one spot this year,” Zack inquired and nudged Cloud under the table, and slightly nodded towards the two men sitting across from them.

The action did nothing but confuse Cloud.

Roxas shrugged. “I just like how graceful they are, despite being so tall.” Eyes flickered over to Axel and Cloud thought he could see Roxas turning a little bit red. Roxas cleared his throat. “Giraffe’s found an evolutionary loophole and ran with it. Growing tall so they could reach the tops of trees that other animals couldn’t reach. Plus their black tongues are a natural sunblock. They are just brilliant.” Whatever embarrassment Roxas might have been feeling passed. “Plus they can really kick some serious butt. Lions better watch out,” he grinned at Zack.

Zack raised his hands to show that he meant no harm. “Hey, I’m not complaining. Plenty of other things for lions to eat on the savannah.”

Axel sniggered as he watched Zack stand down. “Well Giraffe's sure are awesome. Being tall’s pretty awesome too.”

“Comes in handy when there’s things on high shelves.” Roxas said pointedly and both of them exchanged more amused looks, winks and nudges with each other.

Cloud laughed again, but more quietly, as not to draw attention to himself. He didn’t know why they had gotten upset before but it didn’t change the fact that they were rather sickeningly adorable together, despite Axel being a bit of a twat.

* * *

 

They finished their meals and Cloud excused himself, but not before reassuring Zack that he was simply going to the restroom and that he would be back very shortly.

Cloud didn’t get what Zack’s deal was, but he had to concede that he was having a nicer time hanging out with these guys than he probably would have been having alone. Not that he had a problem with being alone. He always thought it his preferred state of being. There had only been a handful of times in his life where he had thought otherwise.

Dark hair and a flash of joy breezed through his mind. An uncomfortable feeling and awful memories of a school he hated suddenly accosted him, as he stood and relieved himself at a urinal. Cloud shook it out of his head. He hadn’t thought about school since he finished with it five years ago. And even then he only remembered a bare minimum. It was so stupid that he should be thinking about it now.

Cloud felt so hot. He regretted moving further south once he had finished his schooling. But he thought he wanted to see the world… just a little. And see what apprentice opportunities lay open for him in Radiant Gardens. He shook himself dry, did his fly back up and stood in front of the basin, running water over his wrists and hands, trying to cool down his blood as it rushed past.

He stared at himself in the bright yet still grimy mirror. Red caught his periphery, but he paid it little mind. He rinsed his face and wiped at his neck.

“So Zack’s taken quite a strong liking to ya,” was the casual throwaway remark from Axel as he finished up at the urinal and flushed.

Cloud’s eyes flicked up and connected with Axel through the mirror. The man wore a stupid grin. Cloud wore a frown and he tried to ignore the comment.

“Sorry for making Roxas upset earlier,” he offered as a change of subject.

Axel’s grin vanished and a serious expression set like stone. “Just ‘cause you don’t like some shit doesn’t mean you gotta go crushing other people's moods.”

“Get off my back. I’m trying to apologize. I didn’t know he’d get like that,” Cloud grumbled, splashing more water on his face so he could avoid the green eyes of distaste boring into him.

The other tap started up and Axel sighed. “Sorry. Heat is gross and makes me fifty-percent more of a dick.”

“Apology accepted. I’m used to a much colder climate, but I’m sure I’ll acclimatize to this eventually. But you on the other hand… You don’t look like someone who should be out in the sun.”

Axel chuckled. “She’s every redheads nemesis. I don’t wear that big arsed hat for fashion. I’m way too cool for that I’ll have you know. Night’s when I shine and look my sexiest. You should come out with us some time so I can show you.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“What if I am?”

“Wouldn’t Roxas be upset?”

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you guys a couple?”

Axel coughed out a, “What? No… what gives you that idea?”

“Well the way you guys are with each other. And you’re braving the heat and sun -”

“Yeah, ‘cause he’s my best friend and it’s his birthday.”

“Oh… so you’re not?”

Axel shook his head, bewilderment dancing on his face.

“Sorry. I just assumed.” Cloud turned his tap off, still running wet hands over his face and down his neck towards his shoulders. “I’ll see you back out there.”

“Yeah,” came the despondent remark.

Cloud matched himself back out into the roar of the crowded space and rejoined Zack and Roxas.

“Axel’s not giving you a hard time, is he?” Zack greeted him.

“If he were would you do something about it?”

Zack chuckled and gave a nod. It warmed Cloud’s heart a little bit for some reason and pulled a smile out of him. “Appreciated. But no. He was fine.”

“Awesome. I’ll be right back,” and with that Zack was off heading in the direction that Cloud had just come from.

“Hey Cloud.” 

Roxas’ voice drew Clouds head back from drifting after Zack. “Yeah?”

“You having a good day so far? Liking the Zoo?”

Cloud thought about that question for a moment. “It’s a pretty nice zoo. Large enclosures. The animals look well cared for. So… yeah. I guess I like it.”

“You sound like you know heaps.” Roxas, with elbows propped on the table, leaned closer.

The fact that Roxas was so interested in anything Cloud might have to say felt bizarre. He shrugged. “I’ve just seen a lot of places that don’t look after their animals so well. Pretty easy to spot the difference between a miserable and happy one.”

“That’s so cool that you’ve been all over the place. I’ve only ever lived here. That gets super boring.”

Eyes cast down onto the table and examined the scraps of food left on his plate. “Kinda sounds nice to just have lived in one place all your life,” he muttered.

“Really? Maybe we should swap lives then,” Roxas laughed with amusement.

Cloud had nothing to say to that. He had often wished he had someone else’s life. Someone who was more stable - more confident - more… happy. Like… . A bright smile flashed in his mind’s eye, accompanied by a dull ache in his heart. He sighed and poked at a leftover cold fry.

“You want to hang out with us for the rest of the day? It’ll be fun,” Roxas invited softly, drawing Cloud’s eyes onto the other man. 

Kind and warm smile greeted him. It took the bite out of hearing that question again. Cloud didn’t feel quite so opposed to it this time. But his default response formed on his lips. “I don’t -”

“You really aren’t a bother. Things are more fun with people. And you can just tell us to shut up if we get annoying. We’re not gonna get upset, swear.”

Cloud opened his mouth, about to say something but -

“And I’ve never met someone who I’ve shared a birthday with. So that’s super cool. I mean it, you’re my birthday buddy. We need to milk today for all its worth. I know Zack’ll happily look after you and shower you with… well anything you’d like.”

Cloud’s face scrunched up. “Why would he do that? We just met.”

“Oh… ah. Well - Oh hey, Zack, why’s Axel still in the restroom?”

Cloud’s attention was drawn back around towards Zack’s handsome frame. Roxas’ assertions were bizarre to say the least. But the idea of them also made Cloud’s heartbeat thud deep down in his gut.

* * *

 

Axel stood and gawked at himself in the washroom mirror. Why would Cloud assume he was in a relationship with Roxas? That was completely ridiculous. They had known each other for a decade. They were like… brothers didn’t sit well. Really, _really_ good friends. The best of friends. The closest he was ever going to be with someone. But not in _that_ way.

“Does Roxas like me?” But Axel wasn’t crazy, talking to himself in an empty washroom. Zack had entered and was busy relieving himself.

“Of course he likes you, how else would he put up with you for so many years?” The smile was unmistakable in his voice.

“No, that’s not what I mean.” Axel slumped over his still running sink, watching the water cascade down the drain.

“Oh. Why’re you asking me all of a sudden?” Zack approached and manned the sink where Cloud had stood a short while before.

“Cloud thought we were a couple,” he muttered into the sink.

“Did he?”

“Why would he think that? Is the way we behave different from how other friends behave? Do I treat _you_ differently?” Axel glanced up at Zack.

Zack just looked at Axel blankly, shrugging his shoulders. “What’s bothering you about it?”

“Nothing,” he said rather gruffly, feeling irritated that he didn’t know. “We’re… just friends.” His eyes darted, looking at nothing in particular as he was thinking. 

“Then stop worrying and come back out there so you can keep your freind company on his birthday,” Zack encouraged, turning off his tap and and flicking his hands dry.

“Do you think Rox would ever want something more?” Now that the idea was planted in Axel’s head it didn’t seem to shake loose.

“I think you need to ask him that.”

“C’mon man, help a brother out. Surely he’d have said something to you. He’s always talking to you when I’m busy.”

Zack clasps Axel on shoulder and sighed, walking away and leaving Axel confused about why he wanted to know so badly and why it really irritated him that Zack was keeping quiet.

* * *

 

Once Axel had convinced himself that he shouldn’t put so much significance into the observations of some random guy he had just met today, he was able and ready to leave the restroom. He rejoined his friends and new acquaintance and forced himself to keep moving when Roxas’ beaming smile smashed him with the force of a speeding truck. 

Roxas _always_ looked at him that way. Why should it hit him so hard right now?

“You okay, Ax? You were gone for a while. You not feeling well? Food poisoning? I told you not to put your life in the hands of a seafood basket.” Roxas’ hands were on him, reaching up, feeling his forehead and cheeks. 

They had been friends for so long that their concept of personal space was different than to that of other people. But Axel had known Zack for the same amount of time and… Roxas and Axel really didn’t treat Zack the same way as they treated each other. It made Axel feel too hot.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get outta here and see the rest of the animals,” he allayed Roxas’ concerns and pried needy hands off himself.

They filled out of the rowdy cafeteria hall, and were greeted with a much quieter, albeit no less hot atmosphere outside.

Axel reacquainted himself with his big brimmed hat and Roxas’ hand was on his arm in moments, pulling them both off to the side and out of the way of the thoroughfare, into a shaded spot.

“Time for more sunscreen,” Roxas declared and rummaged through his backpack.

Zack and Cloud followed them.

“Can’t have us burning to a crisp,” Zack agreed.

“Do you even burn?” Cloud asked, skeptically looking at Zack.

“Of course. But if I had a competition where I would verse all of you for who could stay out in the sun the longest without any protection before a sunburn sets in, I would definitely be the winner.”

“But why risk it,” Roxas said while pumping a big glob of cream into his hands.

“Exactly. You got sunscreen, Cloud?” Zack inquired.

“Of course.”

All four of them stood around, slopping on the lotion.

Zack turned towards Cloud and pointed at his face. “Am I all good?”

He wasn't.

“No.” He pointed to his own brow and Zack wiped… but the wrong side. He smiled and shook his head, pointing to where it actually was.

“Can you do it for me? I'm hopeless at stuff like this.”

Cloud obliged, rubbing the residual cream into skin with his thumb. But he felt rather self conscious. Zack's forehead was greasy, hot and sweaty. They were standing very close together giving Cloud a good opportunity to appreciate Zack's height and physique, especially as his shirt was beginning to cling to the seemingly well built body underneath.

“There. You won't be embarrassing yourself now when you walk around.” Cloud stepped back a little, but Zack followed.

“Hold up.” His hand landed on Cloud's cheek and fingers rubbed. “All good now,” Zack grinned.

Cloud swallowed the thick lump which had formed on his throat and murmured, “Thanks,” though he was pretty sure that he had gotten all of it well into his skin. Cloud was no stranger to looking after himself and was pretty good at not leaving himself in embarrassing situations.

He stepped back and cast his eyes onto the other half of their group.

For Roxas and Axel it was nothing unusual. They always ran hands all over each other with ease and comfort. Even when there was no express reason or purpose for it.

So why was Axel having such a hard time doing it now?

Roxas had done what he always had done. He had wedged himself between Axel's thighs, when he had sat down to give Roxas easier access. His slathered-in-sunscreen hands had brushed all over Axel's face, behind and over ears and down his neck. That's when the trouble had started.

Axel had become hyper aware of the way Roxas’ fingers danced over his skin. They felt slow and deliberate. Thumbs rubbed over cheeks and tips brushed over Axel's collarbone.

Roxas’ fingers had dipped beneath Axel’s shirt, massaging the cream into his upper chest and hands swept up the slope of his shoulders and to the back of his neck, once again dipping beneath his shirt collar.

Axel had smiled up nervously at Roxas, who wore a very pleased expression. It was the same smile he always wore when they were messing around, or in each other's personal space. So that was about 80% of their time together… which meant that Axel was quite the expert at recognizing that smile.

It grew a tightness in Axel's stomach. Roxas’ hands were making him hard. Which wasn't unusual, but Axel had never associated it with Roxas before. He got hard all the time after all. But this one felt different and like it wouldn't go down as quickly as it had come up.

And then Roxas had told Axel to, “ _Do me,”_ and it had sounded dirtier than he had ever heard it before coming out of Roxas’ mouth. Axel felt unsure of himself and was far too tentative as he touched Roxas. He spread the thick white cream and rubbed it gingerly into hot, silky soft skin. 

Axel liked Roxas. He always had, and he always would. But… sexually? The thought had never snagged so tight in his brain before. There had been fleeting wonderments from time to time but it had never resulted in something like this; Axel revelling in the sensation of Roxas pressed against him, or savoring running his hands over the bare parts of the other man's skin.

It was weird. How could one small conversation in a restroom change Axel’s perception so drastically?

“Everything all right, Ax?” came Roxas’ voice, rife with concern.

Axel shook out of his ruminations and let go of the forearm he had been rubbing for probably too long. Or why else would Roxas have asked him?

“Yeah. I think I’m just getting heat stroke.”

Roxas frowned. “You need to drink more water and stay cool.” He packed the sunscreen away and produced a large bottle of water, which he had been filling up religiously at every drink spot they had come across so far. Roxas was cute when he went all maternal on Axel. He never did with anyone else. Just Axel. And he _loved_ teasing him about it. But he felt no energy for it right now.

He graciously took the bottle and downed about half of it, trying to force his concentration on his surroundings and the feel of the water sliding down his throat. Anything but the throb in his pants. But it was hard with Roxas _still_ pressed up to him.

Axel handed the bottle back with a satisfied sigh. “I don’t know how the arctic animals survive in this heat.”

“Yeah. They must have a refrigerator section or something in the dens.”

“Bet the water in their little pools is climate controlled. Man we shoulda gone to the beach instead.” Axel reached for his hat, which he had secured to his backpack. He stood up, which finally made Roxas take a step back.

“Maybe. A pool would be nice,” Roxas conceded and fanned himself with the zoo map.

“Where’re we off to next, Rox?” Zack inquired.

“Mm… ”

“I heard something about a penguin show,” Cloud spoke up, trying to be helpful.

“Penguins!” Roxas and Axel both yelled and looked at each other with wide startled eyes. Backpacks were snatched up and Roxas yelled over his shoulder, “C’mon, we gotta hurry or we’ll miss it!”

Cloud and Zack exchanged amused looks and ran after them.

* * *

 

They had made it just in time before the gates closed to the arena where the show would be taking place. Roxas had mounted Axel’s shoulders so it was pretty easy for Cloud and Zack to follow Axel through the crowd. They had squeezed their way through to a shady spot and watched various penguins waddle out. They slid, they swam, they caught fish, while the zookeepers spoke about them, enlightening the crowd to the various species as well as the conservation efforts taking place. Eventually the penguins scuttled off to make way for some of the seals which got up to some impressive antics.

Cloud had to admit that he was having a pretty fun time. He enjoyed Zack’s running commentary in his ear. It made him laugh. There weren’t too many people in his life that could do that.

The heat was phenomenal. Cloud was beginning to feel woozy, despite them being in the shade.

“You’re looking a bit pale. Wanna sit down?”

Cloud nodded at Zack’s concerned words, and was pulled off to the side to rest against the arena's walls. A water bottle was handed to him, which he happily took.

He leaned his head against the brick wall and closed his eyes. Cloud hoped this kind of heat wasn’t a regular occurrence in Radiant Gardens, or he’d seriously have to consider moving.

The bellow of a seal and the thundering clapping that followed roused Cloud out of the light sleep he had fallen into. Eyes peeled open and he squinted against the glaring sunlight. A deeper shade fell across him, giving his eyes some respite. A hand appeared before him. Cloud looked at it, and then up, beyond to see Zack’s generous smile and friendly face.

Cloud’s look turned more into a gawk. The bun Zack had been wearing was becoming undone. His bangs fell, and framed his face.

“Need a hand up?”

Cloud felt like he was dreaming. There was something eerily familiar about this. The way Zack looked… the way he talked. His mind flooded with the briefest of tangible thoughts - Out in a concrete and barren place, with the sun beating down, heat all around, and crippling emotional hurt.

He blinked and it was gone. All that remained was Zack’s still smiling face, and outstretched hand. Cloud took it and was pulled up, with such strength that he landed in Zack’s arms, his face embarrassingly smooshed against Zack’s soft shirt and cheek against the exposed part of the man's chest.

With discomfort and a racing pulse Cloud pulled away, muttering a, “Sorry,” while Zack chuckled and also apologized. 

The crowds were filling out of the arena. Axel let Roxas off his shoulders and complained tragically about how stuff he had gotten and how Roxas needed to ease up on the sea salt ice creams. Roxas had been sympathetically rubbing Axel’s sore body, but slapped him after that comment and walked off.

“Where’re we off to now, Rox?” Zack called after him.

“To get some sea salt ice cream and then head over to the small animal exhibit,” he informed with an over-the-shoulder glance.

“Oh good! I think Cloud needs something cool and sweet.”

Hand grabbed his own. Cloud was just able to snatch up his backpack before he was pulled away by Zack while Axel brought up the rear.

* * *

 

The afternoon wore on and Roxas prattled on about all the animals they saw. Axel stayed close, enjoying being pulled along and not having to think about much of anything… except for the feel of Roxas’ hand in his own. 

“Otters mate for life you know,” came an offhand remark as they watched the little critters devouring bits of crab.

“Kinda like us.”

“Huh?”

And then Axel realized what he had said. “I mean we're gonna be friends forever, right?”

“Oh. Yeah. Totally!” A small laugh, cheesy grin and a fist bump, but some sort of strain lived in the way Roxas’ eyebrows arched.

Axel was reading into everything too much. He had to be. They had known each other for 10 years. There had never been anything between them. They hung out daily. They dated other people. Axel had been with both girls and guys but Roxas had only ever dated girls, which had also been another reason Axel had never thought of… but there was this one guy about a year ago who hung around… a lot… and then didn't anymore. Had that been… 

“Hey Rox, what ever happened to Thistle boy?”

“Huh?”

“You know, that guy you hung out with last year.”

“Oh, you mean Theo.”

“Yeah, him.” Axel always had trouble remembering the names of the girls Roxas had dated. He had never liked any of them. Had always felt like they hadn't been good enough for Roxas. Even recollecting that bit of information - coupled with the unease of acknowledging that he had always struggled recalling Thistle boy's name made him feel really uncomfortable right now.

“That was ages ago. Why you asking me this now?” Roxas gave him a disgruntled look before leading the way to another enclosure.

Axel shrugged. “It just popped into my head. He was always around for months.”

“You didn't seem to care when I stopped hanging with him.”

“You still friends with him?”

“No. We don't talk anymore more,” Roxas muttered.

Roxas was like that… with ex's. He cut ties. But friends stayed for life, even if he hasn't seen or spoken to them in years.

Had he really been so blind?

“Were you doing him?”

Roxas gave him a glare. “What's wrong with you today, Ax? Heat getting to you?” He stepped up to Axel, stretched and felt his forehead before dropping back down and shaking his head. 

“Hey Zack, c’mere and look at this!” with that Roxas turned away to look at the Gibbon exhibit.

Roxas’ refusal to answer was all Axel needed to know. And… he didn't know how he felt about it. Suddenly thinking of his Roxas dating a guy grew a heavy knot in his stomach. And then the thought of how he had just gotten possessive over Roxas startled him.

He looked at Roxas’ cheerful face as he was pointing something out to Zack and Cloud. He was so adorable - so gorgeous - his best friend. No one made Axel laugh as much as him. There was no one he enjoyed spending every waking moment with more so than with Roxas. They were best friends. Axel liked Roxas. Always had, always would. But now… 

_Well shit_.

He shook the thought out of his head.

* * *

 

By the end of the day they were all exhausted. They had finally made it out of the zoo and it's tourist trap souvenir shop - but not unscathed. A bunch of novelty items had been bought, as well as an assortment of small and large stuffed animals.

Axel was laden with bags, as well as a knackered Roxas on his back. Zack carried everything else that Axel couldn't fit on his person.

The carpark loomed large before them and a steady stream of visitors were leaving. They stood around for a bit. Axel was trying to get comfortable with all his baggage and Zack riffled through stuff checking if they had everything.

It felt like today shouldn’t end. Cloud reflected that he had experienced a nice time and but something still bothered him about Zack. He was almost certain… _almost_ \- but not quite. Thoughts, suspicions and half forgotten memories had been plaguing him all day. He didn’t know if he could part from his company without finding out… and yet he felt embarrassed about the whole thing and didn’t want to ask at the same time.

A quiet murmur out of Roxas, asking, “Cloud, you wanna come out with us for dinner?” broke the discomfort.

Cloud looked at Roxas, who seemed on the verge of passing out. “Shouldn't you be finding a bed to sleep in?”

It shook Roxas awake with defiance. He pulled himself up a little taller. “No way. It's still our birthday. Gotta get these suckers to fork out for a nice meal and a cake.”

Zack laughed, “So that's how it is, huh?”

“Yup,” Roxas beamed. “So how 'bout it, Cloud. We've become friends now, and you can't have a birthday without cake. It wouldn't be fair.”

“And we can't have something being unfair, especially when Zack's around,” Axel chuckled, finally throwing his own thoughts into the mix.

Cloud gave Axel an uncertain look, but a hand slapped his back drawing his attention to Zack, who had been close at hand all day - and it had been weirdly comforting somehow. “Whaddaya say, Cloud?”

His gaze shifted between the the men. With some reserved hesitation - and trying to hide his relief as best he could - he got out, “I guess I could - if you're sure.”

He received another jovial slap on the back from Zack and approving cheers. 

“Of course we’re sure!” Roxas practically sang.

“Do you have your own ride here?” Zack queried, with a reluctant undertone to his voice.

“No, I caught the bus.” Cloud didn’t know Zack that well… but he thought the man looked relieved.

“Awesome! Road trip,” Roxas exclaimed, seemingly possessing more energy now. He spurred Axel on with a squeeze of his legs and a pat to his head. Axel headed off towards his car, leaving Cloud and Zack to amble along behind.

“You had a good day today, Cloud?” came the breezy and cheerful question.

“Yeah. Thanks… for letting me tag along.”

“Nah, buddy! It was great having you around.”

Cloud received a tremendous smile, which tightened his throat a little. It also chased away the few left over niggling doubts. He took a quiet, deep breath and decided to bite the bullet. “Your name… it's Zack Fair, isn't it. That's why Axel made that comment.” 

Cloud was kind of scared to hear the answer. But he needed to know. He cast a cautious glance over to his companion to be met with an approving smile - instead of the suspicious or confused glare he had been dreading to see.

“It is. Did the guys tell you?” 

Cloud shook his head and eyes fell to the concrete pavement of the carpark they were trudging. “I… think I went to school with you once.”

Zack’s smile said it all before he ever got out the, “We did.”

Tension and nerves broiled inside of Cloud. He huffed out quietly, not knowing whether that was a good or bad revelation. He didn’t remember much about that time - nothing but the deeply embarrassing feelings his teenage body had experienced back then.

“W-we were friends, right?” He had never been certain.

“Yeah. I'd like to think so,” came gentle and warm words.

“But you… left.” Cloud felt uncomfortable and rigid in his own body.

“Yeah. I… my parents pulled me out of school.” Zack stopped moving and Cloud did as well, turning to actually look up at him.

Zack's eyes were dark. Up until this point he had displayed nothing but cheer and energy but now… he was deflated. “Look Cloud, I -.” He mulled something over in his head. “I never thought I'd see you again. Radiant Gardens is such a long way from Midgar.”

“Yeah… it's weird,” Cloud mumbled, eyes falling again. “You knew who I was from the start, didn't you?”

“I’d never forget a name like Cloud Strife. You've really grown up. Not so scrappy and scrawny anymore.” Zack delivered it with a good-natured laugh. “But I guess that’s what -” Zack started counting on his hands, “- woah… it’s been like eleven years!”

“Yeah, it has. Why didn't you say anything? Were you going to say anything at all?” Cloud snapped a little, feeling embarrassed and ashamed that it had taken this long for him to have actually brought up the topic of conversation. His suspicions had been growing all day. He felt foolish.

“I thought it’d be too weird for me to say ‘Hey Cloud! Remember me? We went to the same school when we were like twelve! Let's catch up and hang out all day and reminisce!’ Am I wrong?”

Zack wasn't. Cloud shook his head.

“I was hoping you'd recognize me eventually. I don't think I've changed that much,” Zack declared.

“No. You’ve changed. Your hair, your… .” He pulled his eyes off Zack's well chiseled form. “You've… filled out more.” 

Zack was really attractive, but Cloud had known that from the first day he had seen him from across their shared classroom. He had seemed like fun. And nice. And interesting. All the things that Cloud had never and would never be.

Pulling out some more of his bangs Zack have sheepish grin. “You really think so?”

Cloud nodded, and then it happened. Words tumbled out of his mouth, “I… always wanted to be like you. Confident - outgoing - strong.” He felt himself reducing in size at the mere presence of his thoughts and Zack's stature. He grasped at his arm, squeezing at his bicep - still feeling scrawny.

He had always been bullied - until the day Zack had stood up for him in the schoolyard. He had tried to forget all that though. But it has been far from easy at first.

“No way! Really?” Zack sounded concerned. 

The care in his voice opened up a wound. Cloud didn’t want that. He shrugged and nodded toward the car he had seen Axel and Roxas get into. “I think they're waiting on us.”

He didn't know why he had told Zack that stuff about having looked up to him. He wanted out of this conversation, so he started moving again.

* * *

 

Roxas had slid off Axel's back when they reached the car, and moved himself onto the front passenger seat. He watched Axel make room in the back for their extra passenger. 

“You want any of these toys to use as a pillow?”

“Seal me.”

Axel chuckled in the back of his throat. “I knew you’d pick that one. That’s why I bought it for ya.” A soft toy seal was lobbed at Roxas and he wedged it between his head and the window. 

“You’re the best,” Roxas muttered and watched Axel through the rearview mirror as he stuffed all the shopping bags and their backpacks into the trunk and then watched him walk around to the driver's side.

Door opened and shut. Axel sighed and stretched as best he could in the confined space. “Did you have a good birthday?”

“Yeah. So much fun. Can’t wait to see where you guys are taking me for dinner.”

“You sure you’re gonna survive until then? You’re looking pretty spent.” Axel gave him that cheeky lopsided smirk which Roxas adored.

He responded by poking his tongue out. “I’ll be right after a nap.” 

Axel hummed and Roxas shut his eyes, leaning heavily against his cushion. Today had been a really good day… despite Axel acting heart-poundingly odd at times. The other weird thing was how watched Roxas had felt. Every time he had looked to see where Axel had been he found green eyes already looking at him before darting away or giving him a quick, goofy smile. It was usually Roxas stealing glances at Axel, not the other way around.

He opened one eye to sneak a peek at Axel. He found him to be transfixed on a spot somewhere out in the carpark.

 _Good_ , Roxas thought. He'd much rather that than Axel eyeing him off, making him crazy with wondering.

They had known each other for what felt like forever. They had always been the best of friends - but something had changed for Roxas five years ago.

He remembered it all too vividly. It had been the night of their mutual friends pool party. Axel had flirted with every single person at that place. Roxas hadn't thought anything of it, but then they got home to their shared apartment and Axel - all drunk and off-his-face - had cuddled Roxas deep into their sofa and fallen asleep on top of him. It had actually been bliss for Roxas.

He has quietly and gently touched and caressed Axel. He had thought about how it didn't matter what they got up to with other people because in the end they would always be back on their sofa, with each other. That's when the thought had popped in that Axel was all Roxas wanted. To be together with Axel was the only thing that mattered.

After that time it had become harder looking at Axel. Literally and figuratively. Roxas had started seeing his best friend in a different light and he hadn't had the faintest idea how to deal with it. So he had chosen to ignore it and hoped it would go away.

But five years was a long time for it to not go away. It had gotten so bad that Roxas had decided to date a guy - to see what the fuss was about and to figure out if he was even inclined that way. And secretly he had also wanted to see what Axel's reaction would be.

But Axel had been thick as a brick… which only seemed to confirm Roxas’ worst fears that Axel really didn't see Roxas as anything but his best friend. Because other than blatantly stating it - or getting caught kissing or screwing Theo, Roxas thought they were being obvious enough for anyone to catch on that they were dating.

Yet Axel hadn't. And the sad answer to Roxas’ curiosity - as to whether he liked guys or not - had been that Roxas was just head over heels for Axel. He had felt bad for using Theo as an experiment and had cut off all ties with him, despite the other man seemingly really liking Roxas a lot.

“What you think those two are talking about?” Axel spoke up thoughtfully, thankfully dragging Roxas out of his all-too-familiar merry-go-round depressing thoughts.

“Hmm?” Roxas pried his eyes open and found what Axel was referring to. “Oh probably about how much time has gone by and how weird it is that they met again today.”

While they had been at lunch that day Zack had informed Roxas and Axel that the guy they met that morning had been _the_ fabled Cloud Strife from his childhood. The guy he had so much to thank for. After that revelation they had tried to scheme how to get Cloud to hang out with them if they saw him again, and then Zack had spotted the guy from across the cafeteria hall.

It had been such a serendipitous day. 

“You think they're talking about love?” Axel put out there coolly.

Roxas frowned at Axel's strange question. “I thought it was just a hero crush.”

“Maybe it was but it kinda feels like Zack would totally sleep with him and ask him to never leave.”

Roxas breathed out a small laugh. “He is kinda attached. But I don’t think it’s love. You can’t love someone from only knowing them for a short time. And Zack made it sound like even at school they only knew each other briefly before he came to ours.”

“I guess,” Axel muttered, resting his chin on his hands, which he had perched up on the steering wheel. 

He seemed to mull something over in his head before starting up again, “How long you think it takes to fall in love with someone?”

That question made Roxas really uncomfortable. He shrugged. “Dunno. Depends on the people I guess.”

“You think it’s possible to love someone and not realize you love them until much later? And for that realization to hit you all of a sudden out of the blue?”

Roxas’ heart began hammering away. What the heck was all this even about? He stared out the windscreen and shrugged again. “Maybe.”

Axel fell quiet again.

“You all right, Ax? You’ve been acting weird since lunch.”

“We’ve known each other for ten years.”

“Yeah… so?”

“You’re my best friend, Rox.”

Hearing that sadly always smothered something deep within Roxas. “And you’re mine, Ax. You okay?” He sat up a little, genuinely worried that Axel had gotten heat stroke and was delirious.

“Yeah. Look… something - happened today, and I can’t really explain it.”

“Can you try? ‘Cause this is really freaking me out. What happened?”

Axel's jaw clenched a little with concentration as he thought things over. “I can…” Axel shifted in his seat, towards Roxas, “- see things a lot better now.” Green eyes slowly meandered over him in a way they had never done before. Roxas wanted to shrink away - to be invisible. But also yearned for Axel to never stop looking at him like how he was right now.

“What you mean?” he croaked out.

“I mean - I want to talk about _us_.”

“ _Us_?” He barely got that word out on his exhale. This was too much. Where was Axel going with this? 

Axel nodded and leaned over the center console. “Mm. You like me, don’t you?” he asked, sounding very cautious.

The words twisted in Roxas’ gut like a knife. “No, I… it’s not like that,” he said, panic rising. If he got found out would it spell the end of their friendship? Roxas had thought about telling Axel _so_ many times. But every time he had come to the conclusion that he'd rather live a life with unrequited feelings than never get to hang out with Axel again.

“Really?”

Roxas eyes widened with panic. He couldn't let it end. “Really.” Did that sound believable?

Axel's brow quirked.

 _Shit_ , it completely wasn't.

“What if… what if I want it to be like that though?”

Roxas coughed. Had he heard that right? Was he having a dream? Was this going to turn into a nightmare?

“What? Y-you do?”

Axel leaned closer, brushing cheek to cheek and whispered into Roxas’ ear, “Yeah. I think so.”

Roxas’ stomach flipped and his heart dropped to the ground. He could do nothing but watch as Axel turned his face towards him. Eyes slipping shut and dry-from-wind-and-sun lips pressing against Roxas’ mouth.

Warm breath tickled his skin making all the hairs on his body stand on end. This had to be a dream. Roxas had fallen asleep.

Warmth and pressure eased off as Axel retreated to a safe distance. Face flushed and looking rather nervous. “But if you don’t then I’m sorry for what I just did.” He pulled away further, worried eyes running all over Roxas.

He had to fight against the freeze his body had gone into. This _had_ really and truly just happened. “This… this isn't a joke, right?” He got out hoarsely, wetting lips.

“No joke.” Axel shook his head, looking more serious than Roxas could remember him being in recent times.

 _Fuck it_. Roxas wanted this. Even if it happened just once in his life. He reached out, grabbing a fistful of Axel’s shirt and pulled him sharply towards himself before Axel could get too much more distance between them. A surprised look was all Roxas saw before he connected them with a kiss. 

It wasn’t sweet or gentle like Axel’s. No. This was ferocious, especially as Roxas continued to pull Axel towards himself. He was half scared that if this ended so would any chance of having Axel the way Roxas wanted, so he kept going.

But it started feeling ridiculous. Roxas was nipping and sucking at Axel’s lips but the other man wasn’t reciprocating. There wasn’t a reaction at all in fact. It worried him. Maybe this had been too much. He started pulling away a little and readied himself to face the ridicule and then belt Axel for making him feel stupid on his birthday. But hands and arms wrapped around Roxas’ waist and hips, pulling him towards Axel, as the man leaned back into his own seat.

Roxas followed, not wanting to break the kiss. His movements were clumsy as he clambered over the center console and onto Axel’s lap. He ended up straddling him, with his hands tentatively rested on Axel’s shoulders. The grip around Roxas tightened. Hands began meandering cautiously over his sides and back, and lips began moving against Roxas’ own.

A soft hum sounded out of Axel, easing Roxas’ anxieties and he leaned further into Axel, wrapping arms around the back of his head and beginning to lick at the crease of Axel’s mouth. Lips parted and Roxas wanted to do a summersault with how happy he was right now. But instead he slowly pushed into Axel’s warmth and was greeted by a playful tongue.

Axel’s hands roved, exposing skin along the the hem of Roxas’ shirt. It lit Roxas’ fire. Every casual touch between them had always been delicious as Roxas had tried to savor whatever he could. But this was deliberate and it made his heart race and his desire swirl.

Roxas threaded fingers into hair and pulled gently - knowing that Axel would approve - as he had often raved to Roxas about what kind of things he _really_ liked his copious sexual partners doing to him.

It netted Roxas a moan and a hungry thrust of Axel's tongue into his mouth. They began rocking and pushing against each other.

It was cramped and the situation was far from idea. The bottom of the steering wheel was sticking onto Roxas’ back but he didn't care. All that mattered was touching and feeling the man below him.

Axel's hands rubbed and stroked Roxas’ clammy skin but he didn't seem put off. The heat and touch made Roxas push into Axel and he slowly and deliberately ground his pelvis into Axel. It caused a moan to flow out of his throat and into Axel's mouth.

Heat vanished too suddenly. Roxas pulled off Axel as the driver's side door was opened, injecting fresh and much cooler air into their humid-from-lust surroundings.

“I think we need to air the car out before we get moving to the restaurant. I assume we’re still going there, unless you guys have had a change of plans,” Zack’s voice came firm and strong, but with a joyous light edge to it as well.

Roxas scrambled off Axel, back into his seat. He cleared his throat and pulled his shirt back down, looking past Axel and towards Zack who was stooped over to look inside, wearing a buoyant grin.

“No, the restaurant’s still good to go.”

“It’s still okay if Cloud tags along, right?”

“Of course. It’s his birthday too. I assume you guys are getting me a cake. Will be great to share it with more people.”

“Awesome! I’ll give you guys a minute to sort yourselves out. And open the windows next time. It’s already super muggy without you guys steaming everything up.” Zack stood back up and slammed the door shut with a laugh.

Silence filled the cabin. Axel and Roxas exchanged looks. Both began laughing lightly with nerves and relief.

“I’ll crank the A/C,” and Axel did. 

“So…” Roxas started.

“So.” Axel finished.

It felt awkward. Had this been a once off? Was Axel still mentally damaged from the heat and sun? “I… you okay to do more of this in the future?” Roxas asked tentatively. He had wanted to make out with his best friend for years. He didn't know if he would be able to go without if Axel said no.

“Yeah. Maybe not in a car though. Beds and lounges are way more comfy,” Axel smiled and leaned over to give Roxas a gentle kiss. “I like you Rox. I never realized that until today.”

Roxas let out a shaky breath. “What's different about today?”

Axel shrugged. “Cloud asked if we were a couple while we were in the washroom… and that got me thinking.”

It grew a grin on Roxas and he thought he could kiss Cloud, he was that grateful. “I should thank him.”

“You been pining after me for a long time?”

Roxas thought about whether he should be honest or not. “Mm… five years,” he tried to shrug it off like it was nothing.

Axel's eyes widened, showing off that gorgeous green color. “Well shit. I think I've got a lot of time to make up for.”

“You do,” Roxas nodded solemnly.

“I'll start now then. Happy birthday, Rox.” Another kiss was deposited and Roxas captured lips and sucked a little, savoring the taste and feel of Axel. This was going to take some adjustment - if he truly wasn’t dreaming. He really hoped he wasn’t.

* * *

 

“So they _are_ a couple now?”

Zack shrugged. “Could be. I know Rox's been pining after Axel for years and Axel was oblivious to it. I dunno what you did but… you might have just made them both very happy. - And me too.”

Cloud flushed. “Wh… how? I didn't…”

“I get a second chance to be friends with you. I'd like to get to know you better, Cloud. You've been my hero for so many years. I can't believe we met like this.”

“Your hero?” he choked out, completely baffled.

“Yeah. You saved me, buddy.” Cloud received a clap on the back. “But c'mon, if we give them any more time alone who knows what'll happen.” Zack grinned and picked up the bags he had dropped in his excitement to scare the shit out of the guys. 

Cloud helped him, and ran Zack’s bizarre words through his head.

Both men inside the car repositioned themselves, looking ahead and watching the mist on the windows evaporate. The rear passenger doors opened and Zack and Cloud got in.

“You guys all sorted out now?” Zack teased.

“Yup. Good to go. You two better be taking me to my favorite place, or there’ll be hell to pay,” Roxas threw out with a playful glare directed towards the back and at Axel beside himself.

Axel ruffles Roxas’ hair and gave him a smile which scrunched up his nose. “You know we live to please you. Now shut up and go to sleep. We’ll wake you when we get there.”

Roxas gave Axel an approving grin. He fished for his discarded stuffed toy pillow and got comfortable pushing himself against the door. He felt far too awake and excited to nap, but chose to be quiet and relive the last few minutes with Axel in his head.

* * *

 

They ended up in a neighborhood that sort of looked familiar to Cloud, which meant that they must have gone somewhere that was relatively local to him. He hadn’t explored much of the neighborhood, since he was only freshly moved in.

Dinner was filling. The conversation friendly and full of mirth. Axel and Roxas sat next to each other, teasing one another and their new found relationship status.

“We’ll get married and get a cat and a dog,” Roxas laughed when Zack had asked what they would be doing from this point forward.

“Dibs calling the dog Hubert,” Axel declared.

“Cat’s Veronica then.”

“What’ve you got against Veronica’s?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit, Rox. You _hate_ cats,” which only got them more heated up and landed Roxas and Axel pressed and sprawled out on the booth seat - presumably tickling each other to death by the sounds of things.

“They always like that?” Cloud wondered aloud while slowly getting through his slice of cake.

Zack raised himself a little, to look over the edge of the table so he could see them better, before he sat back down. “Yeah. But there’s definitely more kissing going on now.”

Cloud huffed in amusement and shook his head. 

After a while some cold water from the jug _accidentally_ splashed down onto that side of the table, forcing the two men back up to face civilization, looking rather flustered and sheepish.

The evening ended with Axel offering to drive them home, but Zack said he could walk Cloud home, when it came to the revelation that they both lived around this neighborhood. Though this restaurant had been chosen in the first place because of it’s close proximity to Zack’s dwelling. Cloud living close by had been an amazing coincidence.

So the four men said their goodnights at the front of the restaurant and Cloud and Zack were left to stroll through the still fairly busy, and also much cooler city streets.

They talked about inconsequential things, like what their favorite television shows were and what kind of hobbies they had.

Zack bumped into Cloud occasionally, which made Cloud smile and push back pleasantly. Cloud liked this, but he could also feel himself resistant to the less playful and more intimate touches of fingers brushing gently. 

Eventually their light banter and stroll ended as they came to a standstill in front of an old brick apartment building, which blended in perfectly with all the other buildings around it.

“This where you live?”

Cloud nodded and cast an eye onto the structure.

“That's pretty awesome. I live on Stertan, like three blocks away from here,” came the very enthusiastic statement.

“Oh, really?”

Zack grinned broadly, throwing arms behind his head. “Yup. We could hang out if you wanted to. I could show your around.”

The dam finally broke for Cloud. He grew stern and aloof. “Why're you being like this?”

“Like what?” The cheer fell out of Zack's eyes and he returned to a far more neutral stance.

“Friendly.”

“Uh… that's - how I am?” Zack seemed rather confused. “I like you, Cloud. I can't believe we met again. I wanna be your friend.”

“Why?” Cloud felt himself getting testy. All the good natured cheer from their day and evening spent together seeped out of Cloud. “Why bother with someone like me? You didn't have to at school. You were popular. Everyone liked you. Helping me only made things worse for you.”

“What? Where's this coming from? I helped you ‘cause it was the right thing to do. You were new and needed someone to look out for you. Put the other kids in their place.”

“So is that gonna happen again here?”

“Huh?”

“You take me under your wing. Show me around. Be friends - and then just leave again?”

Zack’s eyes went wide. His mouth hung open. “No. Why would I leave?”

“I don’t know,” he snapped. “You left before. One day you were there and the next…” Cloud looked away. “It wasn't easy when you left. It was a lot harder. I didn't have big strong cool Zack to protect me so everything got worse.”

“Shit man… I'm sorry. I - I didn't want to leave. My parents made me.”

Cloud withdrew further, pulling arms against himself, as of trying to protect himself. This was really painful. Cloud hadn’t wanted to bring it up. Hell… he didn’t even realize this was still an issue for him. Today brought everything back in the worst way imaginable.

Zack instinctively reached out to try and touch Cloud, to give him some reassurance and comfort. But Cloud shirked away from the touch.

“I want us to be friends, Cloud. I really like you. Always have.”

Cloud frowned. “That’s such shit.”

“It’s not.

“You _left_.” There was far more venom and hurt in his voice than what Cloud would have liked to show. He turned away, showing his back to Zack.

“Why’s that such a big deal with you? I didn’t leave by choice, you know.”

“It’s a big deal because… I was looking for you… I - I wanted to talk to you about something.” Even thinking about it now - all these years later - caused his cheeks to flush and his heart to race a little.

“Oh. Well you can tell me now… if that helps.”

“It doesn't. Now’s too late.” Cloud felt sullen and disgruntled.

Zack sighed with frustration. “You were always like that. Closed off. Quiet. But I liked that about you - ‘cause when you _did_ open up we had so many great conversations.”

It melted some of Cloud’s hard shell. He threw a curious look behind himself at Zack, before turning around again to look at the street before himself.

“You made me think about the bigger picture stuff - instead of just living day to day. I really missed having someone like you in my life, growing up, Cloud,” Zack said quietly, almost murmuring that into his ear as he had stepped up right behind Cloud.

Yet Cloud kept getting stuck on the one thing that crushed him. “You left,” he whispered and balled hands into fists, digging nails into his palms. 

“I’m gonna tell you what happened. And I’ve never told anyone but my parents, okay?” A small pause followed. “You remember that day before I left, right?”

Cloud resisted looking behind himself. “Yeah.” The memory of it made him exceptionally uncomfortable.

“Well you saved me from doing something really stupid. I was scared shitless and… you coming in kinda stopped it. And after that I told my parents and they took me out of the school and made sure that teacher was removed.”

Cloud thought back on that time. The details of it all escaped him. “I think… I remember there being a new teacher. No one knew or cared why the other one left,” he muttered, turning around slowly.

Zack nodded. “I mean it when I say I didn't want to go. Especially not without saying anything to you. But things got really hectic and I never got any of your contact info. But at least I know where you live now,” he smiled encouragingly.

Cloud looked at his apartment building. “Yeah, guess you do.”

“Mm. So what did you want to tell me back then?”

And then the silence between them got awkward.

Cloud rolled his thoughts around in his head. He had wanted to tell Zack how he felt… in some clumsy childish way. And he still felt childish now. “I… really liked you,” Cloud got out in a very low tone, staring at their shoes, which were almost touching.

“I liked you too. And still do.”

“No. You don’t get it. I… had a crush on you.” Cloud could feel himself turning red. 

“I think I had one on you too,” Zack breathed against Cloud’s hair, their bodies slowly shifting closer towards each other.

“But you left.”

“Because you stopped me from making a really big, stupid mistake. And then -” finger landed under Cloud’s chin, pulling his face up. “I got an even bigger crush on you.”

They peered into each other’s eyes for moments devoid of time. Cloud felt himself becoming far too hot in the face. He tore his eyes off Zack’s infinitely deep blues and onto the man’s shoulder. 

He searched his memories of that time. It was too hazy. He couldn’t remember what was real and what he had invented from years of rehashing the past. It had looked like Zack had been in a _very_ compromising situation with that teacher. There had been scurries and shuffles and it had all felt far too embarrassing for words, so Cloud had stammered some sort of an apology, slammed the door and had hurried back off down the corridor.

“I thought you left because I did something wrong… maybe you hated me,” he muttered, feeling sheer discomfort.

“No,” Zack breathed and shook his head. “You saved me from…” Zack inhaled heavily. His low timber rumbled on, “being a complete idiot. I really looked up to that guy. I was _way_ too naive.” Zack groaned a little. 

It drew Cloud’s eyes back up to look at him, and he felt his cheeks heating up more when Zack gave him a warm and incredibly soft smile. It nearly knocked the air from Cloud’s lungs.

“I think my crush on you is getting bigger, Cloud.” Finger left chin and hand swept across cheek and into hair, carefully brushing.

Cloud forgot how to breath for an instant. He swallowed and got out, “You… want to come up for a coffee?”

The soft expression on Zack’s face bloomed into a pleasant smile and he gave a small nod.

_____❤_____

* * *

  
  
  



End file.
